All Caught Up! Yay!

Notice there is not a different date in front of this message. I have finally caught up, and am glad to be here. Hopefully, I will keep it current~~ We right now are working on the IAP (Initial Application Process or Paperwork). It is basically the legal agreement with CWA as we begin this process. Please pray that as we proceed that we continue to seek God's face, and that we will listen to Him to discern what to do next. Thank you for being a part of our lives!

"Behold, Children are a Gift of the Lord" Psalm 127:3

7/21/09 (almost there) You know, children are a blessing from the Lord. We have a framed picture hanging on the wall between our bedroom doors. The title above is what the picture says, and there are 3 kids hanging in a tree, and a little one down on the ground under the tree. (notice it on our blog anywhere?) I have always treasured this picture, as I notice it frequently when saying our prayers with the girls at night. However, I have always thought (in the bubble above my head)~~that it really doesn't match our family because we only have 2 children. Then yesterday I was looking at it more closely, and do you know what? There are 2 girls and 2 boys on that picture. Unbelievable! ! I took the picture off the wall and started showing my family. I guess you could say I was the most excited about it! I think it is one more sign from God about where He is leading us. What a blessing for our blog~~I have to put this on our blog! So I contacted Debbie Baker, the artist, and asked her if perhaps I could use it on our blog. Debbie has graciously permitted us to use it. It is the painting on the blog front page, and you can even see other works by Debbie if you click next to the little bullet point below her painting. Thank you Debbie! (Debbie is following our blog too, and praying for us!) Please know, this is how we understand God speaking to our hearts in our earthly understanding! I know that our God has plans for us that I do not understand. We are believing God that he does want us to have 2 young men to bring to Him through our family, and this is the way we see it working~Please believe God with us! Thanks!

A decision! Yay!

7/17/09 (getting closer) We might be slow at deciding, but this morning, at Diester's request, I completed the request (application) to be accepted as clients of Christian World Adoption (CWA). We are believing God! So, now we have a long road ahead of us~~Please pray that God will give us wisdom and patience! Thank you!

Blessings abounding!

7/16/09 (updating still) I have another wonderful friend whom I hadn't seen in years. I knew that she and her husband had planned to adopt last I spoke with her. I ran into her at our local homeschool booksale in June, and she and her husband have since adopted 2 boys from Guatamala. Praise God for rescuing those 2 little boys that they now have in their care. So, I recently contacted her to find out if she would be willing to pass on clothes to me when her boys outgrow them, and she has graciously agreed. We are going to need them! Thank you God for your providence~~

Waking up with tons of fears!

7/14/09 (hoping to be caught up soon) Well, I woke up this early morning scared to death. What if I am not going to be able to handle two boys? There's no way I can do this! What if they both have major problems? What if they don't find medical issues that we will have? Wow, the "What if's. . ." really started piling up. I need to start BELIEVING GOD. I have to go do my bible study. I need God's word in me right now. So, I get up out of bed at 3:24 a.m. and dig into my bible study. The Beth Moore study that I am doing right now had us looking at Psalm 146. Well, it was good, as all of God's word is, however, it didn't really speak to me. Then I glanced over at the previous page (Psalm 144:11), and there it said "Deliver me and rescue me from the hands of foreigners." So, I am looking specifically at the word 'foreigners', and thinking 'foreigners' doesn't really apply to me, so it must mean satan. I actually took my pen, and wrote (Satan) next to the word 'foreigners'. I am reading it and trying to understand it, and it goes on to say, ". . . whose lips are full of lies, whose right hands are full of deceit." Yep, that sounds like Satan. Then verse 12 goes on to say "Then your sons in their youth will be like well-nutured plants." OKAY, I'm listening God! He was speaking to me! He got my attention! WOWSA! Did you read that? Then OUR sons in their youth will be like well-nutured plants. Thank you God for your word~~you are SOOOOO good! I almost can't believe that is in the bible~~Did He put that there for me? And guess what comes after that 12b: ". . ., And our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace." How incredible is our God! ~~~~~~ So, it hits me, foreigners! DUH! foreigners! Yeah, okay we are going to be dealing with foreigners as we go through this adoption~~(I am a little slow, hehe, as my friends all know)~~ God wanted me to see that and hold onto that. Hence the other bible verse on our blog page. I need to hold onto that! Thank you God for your answer!

God must be trying to tell us something!

7/11/09 and 7/13/09 (catchin' up) So, we went to a conference up in Columbus this weekend, and while there, saw many families that have adopted. I got to speaking with them, and asking about their experience, etc., and told of the agency (not mentioning names for a reason) we were planning to go with. The look of horror on this one mom's face~~not good. She told me to make sure I check the internet to see the complaints about this agency. YUCK! I didn't want to hear this. Diester and I were really leaning towards this one, so we came home, and sure enough, there are some incredibly incriminating websites that are basically making a bad name for this particular agency. ~~~We aren't convinced. We know that there are always going to be some disgruntled people, and so we are researching the agency more, and find the name of a person that I know listed as a local contact (not specifically for this agency) but in regards to adoption issues. I contacted her about some things, and happened to mention this agency to her, not because I was questioning it, but because we were still planning to use them. Well, she hesitated, and said she had a gnawing feeling about this agency, but wasn't sure what it was that concerned her. She has other colleagues in her profession that would know about this agency. To make a long story short (not good at that), she got back with me and told me that they said to stay away from this agency. That was all it took for Diester and I, and so we are moving on. Sometimes we are slow to listen, but God was gracious, and told us again! Thank you God for being patient with us.

A story that is incredible!

7/8/09 We have been in contact with several agencies~~ One woman from an agency shared with me the story of a mom and dad that just recently (within the last year), adopted from Russia a 3 1/2 yo girl. This child was not adjusting well. To make a long, long, long story short, they had to do with this girl what is called "Tame the Tiger" (or something like that), and basically hold the girl close to them most of the day, with the exception of exercising, eating, and bed, bath, etc. So, they held this precious scared little girl in a carrier close to them all the day long. I thought it was incredibly crazy (in my worldly thinking), and incredibly beautiful that the parents took the time to just love her so much, in spite of the biting, spitting, screaming (you get the picture). Yeah, not pretty~~however, we have an example of that in Isaiah 40:11 where we are told "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." What a beautiful example to all of us to love, love, love our children! I was blessed!

Blessed with a notary!

7/6/09 (catchin' up slowly) I contacted an supervisor that I had had at one point in my "working" years, before I really worked having a family. hehe She is a notary, and she is willing to help us out. Everything has to be notarized! So, my friend helping is is another way that we are being blessed, besides the many others! Praise God for each step closer!

Good information!

7/5/09 (getting closer) Today I spoke with the dad that just adopted the 3 from the Ukraine. What wonderful advise he offered, yet so simple. Pray for what you need! and pray for God's will to be done. So as you read this, please just lift a bold prayer up to our Father, and ask that we would do His will through all of this! Thank you!

Believing God! I so need this!

7/4/09 (backdating, but catching up) Some ladies at our church have started the Beth Moore bible study, and what perfect timing. When I said yes, I had no idea how much more perfect this could be for me at this time in my life. The title of the study is Believing God, and guess what it is all about? I don't think I need to tell you! So, we are delving into how God credits Abraham's faith as righteousness, and how much faith is important in our walk. There are so many things that God is speaking to me through this and I will add them as they come. The one thing that really stuck out to me in the first or second week was the importance of 2 Corinthians 5:7 "We walk by faith, not by sight." It really challenged me to realize the importance of not believing God because of what I have seen Him do, and I have seen a lot of God's restoration/ miracles/providence/grace/healing/etc. in my years on this earth, but it is about believing God for what we have not seen. Faith is believing for what we have not seen~~It stopped me in my tracks! WHOA! ~~do I have that kind of faith?

Checking into agencies & changing hearts!

7/2/09 (backdating still) Well, we are really starting to delve into this, or so it feels to me, and it is overwhelming trying to decide on an agency. So, we actually sent an e-mail to some families that have adopted through different agencies to get feedback, and I am really appreciating the responses we are getting. It has been really neat, and eye-opening to read of some of the joys and challenges these parents have faced. And also incredible how they make it through with the grace of God, and help from some knowledgeable people who are experts in dealing with the issues of adopted children. 7/3/09 Hannah has been excited about adopting from the moment that we spoke of it, once dad agreed. I want to add in here, however, that Mallory has struggled with this whole adoption possibility from the beginning. She is the one that I have to light a fire under for most things, but once we get her going, she really enjoys whatever it was she didn't originally want to do. Well, as she stated when we were all talking together about an adoption as a family, she "likes our family just the way it is, and she sees no need for us to change it." SOOOO, not exactly what we were hoping for, but okay, some people just have a certain type of personality that you learn to work with. Quietly, after our prayers one night, I ask her if she would please start praying that God would help her with this, and she agreed that she would. Oh Lord, I really need her heart to be open to this! Please help us to be understanding and give her a change of heart! UPDATE We had gone to the library one evening, Diester, me, and Mallory, while we were waiting for Hannah. It was for the sole intention of checking into adoption websites, etc.; and while doing so, we came across a website that showed a picture. Now if you can picture this in your mind, it was of about 15-20 little boys around the ages of 3-4 all standing at a picture window looking out at the rain, and the rain was just running down the window, but you could make out the faces of most all of the boys. They were SOOOO cute! ! And, so I said to Diester (who was standing behind me at the time) "Aren't these boys adorable? They are so cute." And then Mallory, who was sitting at the computer next to the one we were using, looks over, and notices the boys. Her eyes just starting sparkling and squinting (as her eyes do when she starts to smile, and I could tell her heart was softening just from looking at the picture.) I think God planned that. But, I didn't say anything, we just commented on the boys we thought were especially cute. Mallory and I were partial to a couple and Diester was partial to another. But, they were all adorable. So, Mallory hasn't really said she was moving in any direction, however. . . @ the dinner table tonight, a friend of Mallory's (Emily) was with us and we were talking about the adoption ~~~Mallory then brought up about the picture we saw of some boys in an orphanage, and how they were soooo cute. Emily made a comment about Mallory not being to into the adoption, and Mallory replies saying, "I'm starting to get used to the idea." Thank you God!

Some answered prayers!

7/1/09 (backdating still) Today is the 3rd and last day of our fast. We talked about the adoption as we awoke this morning. I (this isn't the first time) brought up the possibility and advantages of adopting a second little boy. YES, I am crazy! Actually, our girls have been such a blessing for each other, they support one another, fight with one another, play with one another, and finish each others sentences, songs, movie lines, etc.; and by the time we get these children, our girls will most likely be 15 yo and 13 yo, so if I have only one little boy around here, I am going to have to entertain him myself a lot. And, I was concerned that he would be lonely, being that much younger than the girls, and not having a little playmate. So, as it turned out, Diester started to see the benefits and started talking about the adoption in the plural ~~ "them" and "they". . . He agreed! Praise God! Also, today Proverbs 30:5 has been impressed on Diester's heart. When we did bible study last night, reading Proverbs 30 with the girls, verse 5 spoke to him, and he commented on it. He is soaking in the truth of trusting in God as our refuge and our shield. (notice it is one of the bible verses that is on the left side of our blog page.) As he did his bible study today, that same verse was brought to his attention. He realized that God was speaking to him about that verse being one we had to hold onto for this adoption to work. So, here we go, jumping in with both feet, trusting in God as we go. Please pray with us for this process. I am scared~~I need the prayers. Thank you!

I'm hungry!

6/30/09 (backdating still) I'm awfully hungry sometimes, but when I ask God to sustain me, the hunger goes away. (It's a little more difficult since I am making full-fledged meals for the girls still.) Praying about where God wants us to go~~Praying for the faith to make it through the long process we have ahead of us~~Asking God to show us His ways!

Prayer and Fasting

6/25/09 (backdating still) We just got off the phone with one adoption agency. We were speaking to the woman on the speaker phone, and when she told us roughly how much it would be to adopt, Diester writes his thoughts on his paper so that I can see, but so that she cannot hear ~~We need to be realistic~~I know what that means. After being married to him for 16 years, that means that this Russian adoption will just not be an option either. SOOOO, we get off the phone, and I am waiting for the bomb to drop. I ask him, "So, what do you think?" He takes a deep breath and says, "I think we need to fast and pray about this!" This is not the man I married 16 years ago. Someone else is sitting across from me at this very moment. It must be a man of GOD! YES! I am all about seeking God's face! ! ! Thank you God for the man who is my husband!

Wow! It is expensive to adopt from Russia!

6/22/09 (backdating still) . . .or anywhere, for that matter! WOWSA! Almost mindboggling! No, REALLY MINDBOGGLING! So Diester proposes an idea about how we might go about affording this, and comes up with a suggestion that just didn't seem like it would really work, nor like we have faith in God. We are really struggling with this! I suggest that we need to have faith, and trying to convince him, as well as myself, that this is going to work out. Well, wouldn't you know it, I get an e-mail that day from a godly friend who knows we are planning to adopt. She had not a clue that we had even discussed our concern over the finances that very morning. In the e-mail, she sent us a link to a webpage: Adoption - how we afforded it! ~~I opened it up. I read the article, and the many wonderful comments that concurred unanimously with the article about how God provides in so many ways. There was not one comment about how God did not provide. I knew it was providence that God was definitely speaking to us, so I wanted to show Diester. The article sooooo applied to answering the ??'s on our hearts. So he read it, and I asked him what he thought. In the body of this particular article, it says: "God loves adoption." It was just what he needed to see, so he pointed that out to me, and said "If God loves adoption, then He will take care of us!" Thank you God for sending us just what we needed today! We say the Lord's prayer every night with our daughters, and in that prayer, we ask for our daily bread. He always provides!

A week and a half later!

5/27/09 (backdating posts) Well, after a week and a half, and checking into a domestic adoption through the state, we are realizing that foster care seems to be the only route to go to get a child of the age we are looking for, and then you are not guaranteed that you will get to adopt them. So it is a chance you take; one that Diester is not, and could not be convinced was one he wanted to take. I heard him on the phone telling someone, "We might have to give them back to their family." :-) So, as we continued to check into all of this, I noticed him on the computer looking at websites that handled international adoptions. Quite a surprise to me, to say the least! So, here we are looking at international adoptions, and he is starting to eye up Russia as the country that he would like to adopt from. His Grandma Diesterhaft was born in Russia and came to America when she was 15 years old, so he has an inclination to Russia for that reason. :-) And you know, it is necessary that we find an adoption agency! So the hunt begins~~ Also, we found out that Diester's company contributes towards the adoption! WOOHOO! Love it! That was quite exciting for us to find out~~

The Beginning of the "YES"

5/14/09 (backdating posts to catch up) Well, I (Michelle) am starting here to let you know about how this came to be. My husband (Mark, or Diester as I refer to him) and I have been married for 16 years and we have 2 beautiful daughters, Hannah and Mallory, whom have extremely blessed our lives. Because we have been unable to conceive to full term since our second child Mallory was born, I have always wanted to adopt. God knew it wasn't time yet, and so over the last 8 or so years when I would ask Diester 5 or 6 times (total that is), he always told me "No." I would walk away and convince myself that I probably wouldn't be a good "adoptive" mom anyway. Well, amazing how God works! Not only has he been blessing our marriage beyond my wildest dreams and working on our hearts in our marriage, but we also recently followed the blog of some friends of ours. They were adopting 3 children from the Ukraine, and through their blog we continually saw how God was working miracles in their adoption process. Diester also became inquisitive as to the happening of their adoption through this time. So, as they are in the process of adopting these children and bringing them home, I spoke with the mom and shared with her my ceaseless desire to adopt. She encouraged me to pray about adoption, and for a change of Diester's heart if that is what God wanted for us. Strangely, after we hung up, Diester wouldn't let up on knowing why she had called. After trying to put him off, I finally explained about how she was encouraging me to start praying about adoption, and I also told him that I totally understood that it was not what he wanted. Then he says to me, "It's not that I am opposed to adoption. It's just that we cannot afford it." WHAT!?!? Am I hearing this for real? So, my response to him is: "You don't think that if God wants us to do this, that he will provide!", thinking that whole time in that little bubble above my head, (And so when did you change your mind? Were you going to tell me at some point?) And as the man of Christ that he is growing into, he responds in resolution that we are called as Christ followers to take care of the widows and orphans. Am I really hearing this? My husband finally saying yes to adoption? My fears about being an 'adoptive' mom just melted away, and God even brought to mind the many people who over the years, and even recently, have so blessed us by their wonderful compliments about our daughters, when they had no idea we were looking to adopt. Then his next comment was: "I don't mind adopting domestically, but I don't want to adopt internationally." :-) It didn't really matter to me where God calls us to adopt. I just want to add to our family, which he has also wanted, but it just did not happen. Then we talked about wanting to adopt a boy. I have always wanted boys~~didn't think this would be how I would get them, but thats OKAY! Anyway that God wants this to happen is fine with me. So, that is the beginning of the "YES!" from God. He has brought forth and seen the restoration in our marriage, and is now blessing my desires to adopt with a 'YES', and my husband's desires for more children with a 'YES'. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!