Today, we went to the orphanage wondering what we would be doing with the boys. We were really hopeful for nice weather so that we could play outside with the boys, but the good Lord had other plans for us today. It was raining. I had grabbed a couple of books to help 'create' some bonding, quality time with the boys. On they way to the orphanage, we were making some plans to help fill the time. We also prayed about this, and then the idea came to have the little guys show us their beds, where they ate, played, went to the potty, etc. That would take a bit of time. When we were walking up to the orphanage once we got there, we could hear singing and music coming from the music room. I actually got a bit excited knowing that we could watch them in this lesson for a few moments. Well, you know the drill, we have to get the plastic shoe footies on our shoes, and then we take turns using the restroom (the one and only for adults). As we were waiting to use the restroom, the class let out, and were heading to go to the potty themselves, and R.A. was walking by, and noticed Diester. He stopped in his tracks, hollered "Pappa" pointing to Diester, and the teacher let him come to us. He is a teeny little fellow~~it really hit me today how very small he is. SO CUTE! He ran to give Diester a hug, and then they made him leave for a moment to use the potty with the rest of his group. (They each have their own potty chair.) He said to Diester (in Russian, mind you) "I'll be right back after I go peepee." It was really sweet. AND then, dun, dun, dun, dun.....we were once again lead to the 'music room' (stimulation overload) to play with the little guys. We were introduced to the fact that I.A. actually likes to play the accordian also. He got his hands on it before R.A. got to the room after going potty, so we got to see little I.A. attempting to play the accordian, with the movement, and marching around. There is only one for the children, but they must get a turn on it because he didn't act like he didn't know what to do with it. The music teacher asked our interpreter to please get the boys involved with music somehow, because they love it so much, are musically inclined, and she feels we are obliged to do it as their parents! We certainly plan on it if that is where God leads us.
So, the music started, and we played for a bit with that. After a while, our interpreter left for a bit, and we decided to have some down time with the boys. Okay, they know about down time, but NOT with us. We have been nothing but 'BIG TIME FUN' (Diester especially) for them, so down time does not seem to fit in their minds with us. Reality hits! We try to sit down to read. I sat R.A. on my lap, and Diester had I.A. As we sat down, R.A. was not happy to be in my lap. He would look at the pages, and then totally turn 5 pages at a time just to get done with the book. Then he got fidgety, and I spent the majority of the time trying to get his attention on the book with him fidgeting. I finally just set down the book, and just held him as he continued to squirm. I was speaking in Russian telling him everything was okay, to sit calmly, etc. Diester was helping with some additional phrases that he had written down. So, we looked pretty funny I am sure. When Diester saw me struggling, he carries I.A. over to get his notebook with the Russian phrases in it, and comes back and is helping me to try to calm him down. I was just not letting him go. (shaking in my boots the whole time). However, at a point, he settled down. I just rocked him, and he let me rock him. Then I tried with a different book. We found a page with animals on it, and he was identifying all of the animals. It was quite amazing~~I could tell because he was saying the name, and I had the name (in Russian pronunciation underneath the picture). That settled him for a bit. Then he was done with that book, and again done with sitting on my lap. Well, I let him fidget some more, and then he calmed down. It is really hard to write about this because I want to just write about how everything is going just peachy, and today, it did not feel peachy during this time. I know Diester wanted to come over and take him from me to help me out, but there is actually bonding going on through this struggle. We cannot give into their every whim. With children that have been institutionalized, it is important that they know you are in control. He was actually even crying at a point because I would not let him go. He also was saying "nyet, nyet, nyet" (which is no, no, no). However, towards the end of this scenario, I turned him around to ask him if he would like to go play now, and he was actually not terribly upset with me. It was all about a power struggle, and we worked through it as best as we could. Diester and I are not going to be a barrel of laughs for them 24/7, and so we need to start providing this order and discipline in their lives with us. This is what you read about in preparation to adopt, but it is difficult to put into practice. So, we got through that. There were no grudges held, and he was not upset with us after this. (As Diester and I talked about this later, we felt like that was a really good thing.) Then we went back to interacting with some of the more stimulating things that they wanted to do. Several times I had to get I.A. out of things that he shouldn't have been getting into, and it gave me the opportunity to grab ahold of him, and refocus him, but in the meantime, I just loved on him playfully, and did some interactive playful things with him, to which he was giggling. That made me happy. In the meantime, Diester was playing peek-a-boo keep away with R.A., with R.A. using an open umbrella as the object to hide behind. They were giggling, and having a ball. At one point, the umbrella seemed to be starting to take a beating, and Diester decided that the umbrella needed to be put up, at which point R.A. went over to the couch and started to have a meltdown. Diester went back to him, and stroked his head, and hugged him, told him that everything was okay, that he loved him. Diester proceed to pick him up and toss him in the air, because he know that R.A. likes that, and then he got his mind off of that. He redirected his temper tantrum. Then the time came for them to go get ready to eat lunch. I.A. was taken first, and then we were asked to leave R.A. with the music teacher while we toured their bedrooms, bathing/potty rooms, play room, and dining room. It is really kind of neat how it is set up. I enjoyed seeing where they ate, and we actually got to see the little one eating. Diester couldn't believe how he could get this big spoonful of soup in his mouth, but he maneuvered it quite well, and I don't believe he was spilling much. Interestingly, these careproviders (picture this) lay the hanging portion of the bib, that is attached to each child, on the table, and set the bowl on the bib. That way, the food does not fall onto the child's lap beyond the bib. It seemed pretty effective. We got to say goodbye to the little guy before we left his area. Then we headed back to get R.A., but he was already gone to prepare to eat, and so then we took a tour of his area, and got to say goodbye to him before we left. It was a special time with both of them.
After we said goodbye to I.A., and we set him down to let him go back to his group, he sat down (instead of standing with his group), and lowered his head, and just looked downtrodden. It was obvious that he was sad to see us go. There is bonding going on. Praise the Lord!
So, we made it though the time with them. I say it like that because it was kind of rough. However, "mamma said there'd be days like this". We have read enough, and talked with enough adoptive parents to know that there are going to be challenges and tough times ahead. We got a glimpse of that today.
Tonight, I actually got together with some of the women who do missionary work with their husbands here in Russia. Women from Switzerland, Canada, and Australia~~quite the range, but all sisters in Christ. What a blessing to have that fellowship! We had treat, watched a movie together, and then we shared fellowship and prayer. It was such a treat. (And, I did NOT fall asleep during the movie for those of you who know me well. I had had a nap.)
Now, I am tired and it is way late. We do not see the boys until Monday again. Have the whole weekend to do whatever. Seems like a long time, and it is. 8 days and counting until we pick them up on Saturday, the 23rd of July. We are so looking forward to getting them with us. We don't know what to expect, but if you could please say a prayer about this for us as you finish reading this, we would be so very blessed. Thank you so much for your support and love! God bless you all!
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